BUG (2006)

Back in the fall of last year the ad campaign for the December release of William Friedken's BUG was in full swing. A trailer that promised one of the scariest movies ever, by the man who arguably already made the scariest movie ever, THE EXORCIST. The fans couldn't wait, but eventually they had to when BUG was bumped off the December release list and wasn't heard from until the spring. What happened? Well, after finally seeing the movie, I can honestly say that test marketing killed BUG. The trailer makes it look like a sci fi horror flick, but it's actually the furthest thing from that genre. BUG is a psychological horror drama, which means there's no action, no special effects and a lot of talking. This a movie that most American horror fans hate and hate it they did. When the film was finally released there were reports of record breaking walkouts in theaters and of theater employees advising potential ticket buyers not to see the film because they heard from the people walking out that the movie sucked. Bug has to be one of the most reviled and rejected films by the general movie going public in years. People hate this movie! If you don't believe me, go onto The Internet Movie Data base web-site and read the user comments about BUG. Ninety five percent of the reviews are not only negative, but they contain a hatred towards this film that is unprecedented. The other five percent declare the film as brilliant and one of the best of the year and I'm one of them. BUG is one of the best movies that I have seen this year.

In this review I am not going to write much about the film's plot. I went in under the same assumption that the haters did, but unlike them, I lucked out and found the kind of movie that I truly love. Dark, disturbing and bleak character studies are my cup tea and I haven't seen one quite like this since Roman Polanski's Repulsion. The only movie to come close in recent years was the French film IN MY SKIN. But that film relied too much on the gross out to truly be effective. BUG on the other hand, is a psychological kick in the head from beginning to end. Oh yeah, there is some gore, but it only highlights the madness that is taking place on the screen and is not the main event here.

Based on an off Broadway play, the movie only has a handful of characters and pretty much takes place in one location. While there is little in the way of action, what is on display here is acing. Incredible fucking acting! Ashely Judd deserves a an academy award nomination for her portrayal of a young woman lost in a world of drugs and alcohol while trying to deal with the loss of her child and end of a horrible marriage. She is perfect from the very first time she appears on the screen to her unbelievable performance during the films disturbing climax. To be honest, I know pretty much next to nothing about this woman and her past work, but this performance needs to be recognized. Michael Shannon, the actor who plays the other main character is also phenomenal in his role of a "seriously" troubled man.

So check out BUG, but get yourself prepared to be drained. This film is a real emotional workout and is not the thing to kill some time on a Sunday afternoon. Just like one of the other best movie candidates of the year, David Lynch's Inland Empire, you have to be in the proper mood and frame of mind to watch BUG.
Don't say I didn't warn you.

WRONG TURN 2: DEAD END (2007)

The major themes in horror movies today seem to be torture, zombies, vampires and hillbillies. And until someone makes a movie called Hillbilly Torture Zombies Versus The Vampires, these themes will continue to dominate the direct to video horror releases for the next couple of years. Wrong Turn 2; Dead End is a hillbilly horror movie and while it's a good one, I hope it is the last one.

When the original Wrong Turn was released in theaters in 2003, it predated the remake of The Hills Have Eyes by 3 years and was the first film in a while to feature the inbred backwoods hillbilly as a horror villain. The verdict of whether this was a good or bad film was split amongst horror fans. The hillbillies in Wrong Turn were a combination of the TCM Saywer family and the mutants of the original Hills Have Eyes, except here they were mutated to the point that they didn't speak. And that's what worked in the film…grunting, snorting almost alien like creatures who just kept on a commin! Other than that and a decent amount of gore, the film itself is pretty generic and almost by the numbers. I liked it, but didn't think it was great. And I definitely didn't walk out of the theater hoping that there was going to be a sequel. But thanks to the booming direct to DVD market, they made one and I dug it. I might even like it better than the original.

As is the case with most horror sequels, the makers of Wrong Turn 2 realize that since audience already knows what is going to happen, why not crank up the gore and make the killings more brutal and spectacular. While this did not work in the dreadful The Hills Have Eyes 2, here the splatter effects are the stars of the show. This movie contains some really wild effects that spill enough blood and guts to please any gore hound out there.

The plot is the overused reality game show premise that has been done to death recently. If it wasn't for Henry Rollins who plays the over the top ex marine host of show, this whole hackneyed scenario would be a dismal affair. But Rollins enthusiastic performance along with the gruesome body count really keeps this thing going and by the end you'll pretty much forget what the dumb plot was in the first place.

The makeup this time around is not as elaborate, but it serves its purpose. These are some ugly fucking people! I also like the fact that they decided to use some women mutants instead of the all male cast of creeps of the original.

So yeah, I liked this sequel better than the original, if only for Rollins and the amazing amount of splatter on display. It's not a classic, but neither was the first one.

BROKEN (2006)

The term "torture porn" is getting thrown around a lot lately and it is rarely used in a positive sense. I can't remember the last time I heard some one say "Gee, I really love me some torture porn!"... at least not in the circles that I run in. Movies that are about one one long term suffering before gory perverse deaths have made it to the mainstream box offices and most certainly to the direct to video market. The Saw movies (4 in 4 years!), Hostel 1&2 and watered down one shots like Captivity can be seen in theaters across the United States, often playing alongside a Disney film or a movie your mother would want to see. Well, this isn't your mother's slasher movie from the 80s. This is up close and personal violence dished out by sadists to screaming and pleading victims. These movies are loud, bloody and in your face. In short, they are obnoxious and a lot people don't like them anymore. I'm not a big fan, but I watch them as part of my job. The best I have seen so far has been Wolf Creek, an Australian film that was criticized for it's lengthy introduction of the characters. I just watched the newest one that I like and it's called Broken.

Broken is British and it seems to be shot on video, but it is amazing looking. The cinematography is pretty top notch, as is the lighting, music and most importantly, the acting. The film starts out with the standard opening torture scene of someone we will never see again and then it's "two weeks later" and we are introduced to the victim that we are going to watch suffer for the next ninety minutes. This has been done to death in countless other films, but here it is handled differently. We only get a brief glimpse of the victim's normal life and then bam…she's trying to get out of a coffin and her stomach has been ripped open and sewn back together. There is no build up, it just happens. Then the film begins to count down the days of captivity by breaking itself into chapters…day one, day two…etc.

The rest of the film is spent on the relationship between the victim and her captor. Once again, another plot line that has been done badly in other films, but in Broken it is given a different treatment. The tension and suspense of the situation is carried solely by the acting abilities of the two principal players. In my opinion this is an achievement that no other "torture porn" has yet to make. On the downside however there is a lot of screaming and pleading on display just like in all the others.

One final note…if you are like me and usually skip watching all the extras that load down dvd releases these days, I suggest you make an exception after watching this film. The making of feature is pretty interesting, detailing the struggle to make this film with no money. There is a lot that was cut from the film and for good reason. Broken is a film that leaves a lot of unanswered questions and that is the source of its impact.

BLADE THE HOUSE OF CHITHON

This made for cable (Spike Network) Blade movie is just like all the other Blade movies except that Wesley Snipes isn't in it. It is however, better than Blade Trinity, but that's like saying that having the burning shits is better than having burning piss. Boring.

MAD COW GIRL (2006)

Want to see movie about meat, fucking, religion and killing? If so, then Mad Cowgirl is for you. Want to see a movie that makes sense? Go watch something else. Mad Cowgirl is a sort of art film about a woman who works as a meat inspector and fucks a priest played by Walter Koenig from Star Trek. Oh, and she gets mad cow disease by eating beef from Canada. And she likes old kung fu movies.

Put together in a slap dash fashion, Mad Cowgirl is basically a series of set pieces and scenes that while disjointed, all kind of pull the whole thing together…kind of. I sat through this mess but I don't suggest that you do, unless you like movies about meat, fucking, religion and killing.

EVIL ALIENS (2006)

For years the blue print for the zombie film was Romero's Dawn Of The Dead. Then Peter Jackson came along and made a zombie movie that has now become the blueprint for the over the top gore comedy. This British flick replaces Jackson's zombies with space aliens and the result is pretty much the same. Buckets of blood and guts mixed in with plenty of laughs.

THE IRON ROSE (1973)

THE IRON ROSE is a long lost film from seventies French director Jean Rollin, whose films are part art house and part horror. His vampire films such Fascination and Shivers Of The Vampires define the Euro horror movement of the seventies. This film has really gotten lost in the shuffle since even the most rabid of his fans have never heard of it.

A young couple has a first date in a graveyard and after they do the 'deed' inside of an underground tomb they find that they can't find their way out of the place. What follows is a creepy and unsettling story about death, love and desecration. Fans of atmospheric horror films such as Carnival Of Souls should like this one.

ISOLATION (2005)

If I told you that one of the best horror movie that I have seen this years was about cows, you would probably laugh and think I was talking about a high camp romp like the recent Black Sheep or Lloyd Kaufman's upcoming Poltrygeist. No, the cow movie I'm talking about is a dead serious horror film that will definitely get under your skin. ISOLATION is an Irish film written and directed by a lad with the fine Irish name of Billy O'Brien and it creeped me the fuck out.

But before I get into my review of this great movie, let me forewarn those of you that have post modern movie watching ADD syndrome…this is a slow paced film that requires the viewer to hang in there for the first 30 minutes. After that, ISOLATION really pays off and is guaranteed to leave you with an uneasy feeling by the time that it reaches its conclusion.

The first thing that you'll notice about the film is its music. The score is almost cliché like horror movie music reminiscent of older films from the sixties and seventies. While this wouldn't work in most modern horror films, here it is the perfect match for the mood of the movie. It sets up a feeling of dread and foreboding while introducing the basic set up of the movie. To take full advantage of this amazing soundtrack, crank up the 5.1 surround and turn off the lights.

ISOLATION takes place on a cattle farm in the Irish countryside far from any signs of modern civilization. There, a scientist has paid a cattle farmer to inject a pregnant cow with an experimental fertility drug that is supposed to increase the number of calves an individual cow is capable of giving birth to. Needless to say, all hopes of this being a good thing is dashed when the first calve is born.

I'm not going say much more about the plot because it is pretty basic and revealing any more would take away much of the film's impact. What I want to talk about here is the film's mood and atmosphere. Unlike most American horror films ISOLATION has no comedic relief whatsoever. It is played straight throughout by good actors, realistic storytelling and very effective cinematography. This, in my opinion, is a major achievement for a horror film about cows. The only light moment comes in the form of a song that is played over the closing credits. Other than that, this film is probably one of the more realistic and serious monster flicks that I have seen in quite some time.

Gore hounds will be pleased to know that ISOLATION has its share of gross out moments. But rather than in your face, over the top gore gags, the special effects (along with the music and the pacing) contribute to the overwhelming atmosphere of horror and dread that is the backbone of this film.

One final thing that makes this movie works so well is the limited number of cast members. Like John Carpenter's THE THING, which it somewhat resembles at times, the small group of characters provides a feeling of isolation and hopelessness. The dire situation that these characters are in must be contained or the rest of the world will be in big trouble. This could have been done very heavy handily, but in this film that feeling is portrayed in a very realistic manner and that is why I found it rather chilling.

I highly recommend ISOLATION to anyone ready to take the plunge into a dark and dangerous situation that is taken very seriously no matter how outlandish the premise.

THE MAN AND THE MONSTER (1958)

Casa Negra DVD scores again with the release of this atypical Mexican horror film from 1958. The Man And The Monster eschews the usual Mexican horror trappings in favor of straight forward drama with a single monster. This film is not a classic like The Black Pit Of Dr. M or Curse Of The Crying Woman, but it does stand on it's own as solid little horror flick.

A concert pianist becomes so consumed with being the best in the world that he sells his soul to the devil in order to achieve those bragging rights. But like with any deal with old scratch there is usually a catch and in this case the guy turns into a snarling, murderous beast every time he tinkles the ivories.

Filled with all the great atmosphere and cool cinematography than fans of Mexi-horror come to expect, The Man and the Monster definitely deserves a look.

MEATBALL MACHINE (2005)

Here is the cyber-splatter-punk cult movie that fans of the sub-genre of Japanese film have been waiting for! Obviously inspired by the Tettsuo films of Shinya Tsukamoto, Meatball Machine differs from those movies by adding a love story to it's gory and chaotic tale of alien possession and human transformation.

The plot is too insane and involved to get into here in a capsule review, but let's just say that this film puts an original spin on some basic Sci-fi premises. Meatball Machine will leave you exhausted by the time it's over and you won't know what hit you. So, if you dig gore, tentacles and mind blowing concepts that can actually be made sort of believable, then this is the movie for you. Everybody else should just stay a way…far away.

GRAVE DANCERS (2006)

You got to hand to director Mike Mendez for taking horror concepts that have been done to death and giving them a new twist. In THE CONVENT, he took the kids spend the night in a spooky place scenario and mixed it up with demon nuns and Adrianne Barbeau as a demon nun hunter to make one of the better horror-comedies of the last ten years. In his debut film, REAL KILLERS, he took the serial killer genre and gave some nice tweaks and came up with a movie that stood apart from all the others. In his latest film, GRAVE DANCERS, Mendez gives us one of the best action-ghost movies since the original POLTERGEIST.

When three college friends reunite to attend a friend's funeral, they decide to visit his grave after hours and give him a final drunken send off. While partying it up, one of them notices a card placed on their friend's headstone. After reading the mumbo jumbo contained on the card the friends follow instructions that tell them to dance on the graves. Because they are drunk, this seems like a good idea and they follow through.
After they go home the next day all hell breaks loose as vicious spirits haunts each of them as a result of their drunken grave dancing.

GRAVE DANCERS is a stand out entry in the After Dark Horror-Fest, but seems to be getting a bad rap from fans who are too critical of the film's low budget special effects. This didn't bother me considering that the rest of the film is very original and at times very effective. This is a great place to start if you are considering watching all eight entries in this surprisingly good series of films.

CHAOS (2005): The unofficial remake of LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT has arrived and it is one nasty little flick. I am surprised that in all the hype I have read about the film, that it is always described as a 'rip off 'or 'loosely based' on Wes Craven's 1972 exploitation classic. Make no mistake about it, CHAOS is a remake… and with the exception of a weird ending, it follows the original almost by the numbers.

Two young girls are on their way to a rave in the middle of the woods out in the middle of nowhere. Meanwhile, squatting in an abandoned cabin is group of ruthless criminals who put over by their actions in the early part of the film that they are truly the scum of the earth. The two girls are lured into the cabin in hopes of scoring some ecstasy to take during the rave. If you have seen the original, you pretty much know about what happens next. What you can't foresee however, is how uncompromisingly brutal this version is compared to the source material. To say that the filmmakers turn up the brutality a notch is the understatement of the year. There are two scenes in this movie that are perhaps the worst I have ever laid eyes on and watching them with my wife sitting next me was rather uncomfortable to say the least. With that said, Ill have to admit that I liked the film for the gut punch that it is intended to be. It's sole purpose is to shock and disturb and as far as I'm concerned, it does a bang up job. I just wonder what it would be like to see this without ever having viewed the original movie. It's almost incomprehensible to imagine.

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DORKS aka Nacht der lebenden Loser, Die (2004)

I'll have to admit to being skeptical about checking this movie out. The cover of the DVD makes it look like some awful shot on video piece of shit…the kind of crap that is flooding the market and quickly killing the horror genre. Plus, I'm pretty sick of zombie movies these days…especially zombie-comedies. The last direct to video horror spoof that I saw was an unfunny and unpleasant experience, so I didn't want to get burned again by some fan boys with digital video equipment trying too hard to be clever and witty. But when I found out that it was a foreign flick, I let my guard down a bit. I don't know why, but a zombie comedy from Germany holds more promise for me than one made in some dope's back yard here in the United States. I also heard praise about it from a friend of mine who saw it at the Fantasia Film Festival in Montreal last year. In his words… "It was pretty f*cking funny". With this mind I sat down to watch, still skeptical, but hopeful.

It turns out my friend's simplistic review was dead on. This movie is pretty f*cking funny. Is a great film or at least a future cult classic? The answer is no. Is it pretty f*cking funny? Hell yeah, this flick is a riot.

More of a cartoonish version of an American eighties teen movie than anything else, Night Of the Living Dorks is not a love letter to the zombie genre the way Shaun Of The Dead was. The zombie element makes it hip, but at its core, this is an extremely juvenile comedy, replete with foul language, under age drinking, lots pot smoking and sex starved teenagers. Most of the film's situations are based on clichés that you have seen at least a dozen times before, but done in such a way that it's exaggerated and over the top. For example, the three main nerdy characters are killed in an auto accident caused by the malfunction of a new high tech pot smoking device. It's a really stupid scene, but I dare you not to laugh during it. And that is what the entire film is like…total stupidity transcending into genuine comedy. I loved it.

MEXICAN HORROR:

In the last twenty years the only way to view a Mexican horror film from the 50's and 60's was to watch one on shabby looking VHS tapes that looked like they had been dubbed down at least 10 or 12 times. Now, thanks to a new DVD label called Casa Negra, these amazing and atmospheric films can be enjoyed with digitally re-mastered prints and the option to watch them in their original Spanish language. Prior to this, these films were only available with either ridiculous English dubbed soundtracks or entirely in Spanish with no subtitles. While the bad dubbing has it's own charm, I suggest that you watch these films in Spanish with the English subtitles. This elevates them above being just simply heckling material for Mystery Science Theater aficionados.

The first two OFFERINGS on Casa Negra's plate are CURSE OF THE CYING WOMAN and THE WITCH'S MIRROR. The former has been around for the last twenty years on bootleg tapes and discs while the latter has not been seen in quite some time.

THE WITCH'S MIRROR (1963) A married couple live in a large foreboding castle with their housekeeper who happens to be a witch. Using her magical mirror the witch shows the young wife, who also happens to be her godchild, that her scientist/doctor husband is having an affair and plans to kill her. Later that night, the husband slips some poison into her drink and she dies. Not long after her burial, the doctor remarries and brings his mistress home to live in the castle. The housekeeper, once again using her evil mirror, summons her dead godchild's spirit back to life to torment the newlyweds. The new wife after freaking out a bunch of times is finally (and inexplicably) set on fire, thus scarring her hideously. The doctor then begins to rob graves in order to find new body part for his horribly disfigured wife. The witch using all the powers that Satan has given her to foil his plans and avenge her dead goddaughter's murder.

The most amazing thing about THE WITCH'S MIRROR is that all of the aforementioned events take place during the film's brief 75 minute running. Straightforward and to the point, this movie starts out with a bang and never lets up until "FINI" is abruptly flashed across the screen. Filled with inventive, although sometimes-sloppy special effects, the movie conveys a feeling of pure movie making magic. While it does borrow from several other films of the time (EYES WITHOUT A FACE &THE HANDS OF ORLAC for example), the film is unique and extremely entertaining. Along with CURSE OF THE CRYING WOMAN, THE WITCH'S MIRROR is a great way to get started exploring the wild and surreal world of Mexican horror cinema.

CURSE OF THE CRYING WOMAN For me to say that CURSE OF THE CRYING WOMAN is a dazzling display of gothic horror movie making may a bit too much for someone not that familiar with Mexican horror cinema. But if you are fan of the atmospheric films of Mario Bava or any of the early Universal monster movies, this picture is going to visually knock you out. Like THE WITCH'S MIRROR, this movie is in your face from the very beginning and never lets up with its nonstop barrage of fantastic gothic atmosphere.

THE FOUR SKULLS OF JOHNATHAN DRAKE (1959) B movie director Ed Cahn cranked out 123 movies in his thirty year career. Lots of these movies I know nothing about, but from 1955 to 1960 this guy was responsible for some of the best-worst genre films of that era. The list is impressive; Invisible Invaders (1959), Curse of the Faceless Man (1958), It! The Terror from Beyond Space, (1958) Invasion of the Saucer Men, (1957) Zombies of Mora Tau (1957), Voodoo Woman (1957), The She-Creature (1956) and Creature with the Atom Brain (1955). THE FOUR SKULLS OF JONATHAN DRAKE was his last horror film and until this DVD release is perhaps the least seen of the bunch.
This is a voodoo movie and probably one of the only ones to concentrated on shrunken heads. The males of the Drake family have a curse on them that results in a gruesome procedure of; beheading, head shrunken and then skull mysteriously placed in a closet in the family mortuary. Johnathan is the last in line and begins to have hallucinations of skulls floating through the air. After the beheading murder of his brother, he thinks that he is next…and he's right! It seems that great grandpa Drake pissed off a tribe in South America while on an expedition and a undead witch doctor is out to finish Drakes off.
This is actually a strong movie for the times, featuring some grizzly scenes detailing the time honored head shrinking process. Add to that some pretty decent performances, cool looking cheap ass sets and a creepy looking native with his mouth sewn shut and you got yourself great little B movie. And at 70 minutes it blows by with never a dull moment.

DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW (1981) This made for T.V. movie features Larry Drake as a retarded man who is wrongly killed by a group of small town vigilantes led by Charles Durning. Looking for any excuse to get rid of the town retard, a postman (Durnning) and his three buddies hunt down simple minded Bubba (Drake) when they think he has killed a little girl. When they find him hiding as a scarecrow in a cornfield they gun him down execution style. Later when it is revealed that the girl is alive and in fact was rescued by Bubba during a vicious dog attack, they are put on trial and get off in a true miscarriage of justice. Then in typical revenge movie style, they are mysteriously knocked off one by one.
I missed this one when it originally aired on the tube in the early eighties (I was out chasing girls and boozing as a young adult and didn't watch much television) and I'm not sure if it ever had an official video release…if it did, it when went out of print quickly. But thanks to gray market entrepreneurs like Crypt Flicks, I finally got see a movie that I have only heard people talk lovingly about over the years. Does it hold up to the word of mouth hype? Absolutely! This is a solid horror flick with great performances (Durning is a real asshole) some cool death scenes and a pretty damn creepy ending.

ONE DARK NIGHT (1983) A the beginning of this flick we see that a crazed psychic has used his powers of telekinesis to kill a group of young girls and then dies himself. We are then introduced to a trio of high school girls who are panning a special initiation for a pledge to their little clique/club. Meg Tlly is the pledge and she has to spend the night in a mortuary, the same mortuary where the crazy psychic is entombed. A PG rated horror romp from the early 80's that would clearly be rated PG 13 by today standards. Lots of rotting corpses and a good bit of suspense (and Adam West!) make this one worth a look. Unavailable for many years since its original video release, this little picture has become a sought after cult item. Now on DVD in a 2 disc set!

LIVE FREAKY DIE FREAKY (2005) The Charles Manson story done as a musical with crude animated puppets. This is probably one of the more tasteless movies I have seen in a while and that is both a good thing and a bad thing. The shock of what you are watching takes a while to sink in, but soon the vileness is loaded on so heavy that it becomes a bit too much. If you thought that TEAM AMERICA was in questionable taste, wait till you see this. The movie features Billy Joe whathisname from Green Day as Manson and a host of other LA rock types as the voices of the other equally despicable characters. This is potty humor in the red, and while I liked most of it, I started to o.d. the non stop EXPLICIT language about three quarters the way through. The songs are fairly funny and the score by one of the guys from Rancid is pretty interesting. Not for everyone, but I bet the 21 and under crowd eat this shit up once the word gets out.

THE CORPSE GRINDERS (1972) A couple of two bit creeps buy dead bodies from a grave robber and grind them into cat food using a giant cardboard box meat grinding machine. The end product proves to be very popular and their cat food business goes through the roof. But once kitty gets his first bite of human flesh, he just wants more and becomes a vicious man eater like his ancestor, the tiger. As the boys keep grinding up the profits, cats everywhere begin to tear up their owners and the lid is about to be blown on The Lotus Cat food Company. Another cheap ass horror flick from the man who brought us ASTRO ZOMBIES and BLOOD ORGY OF THE SHE DEVILS, Ted V, Mikals.

PANIC BEATS (1982) Paul Nachy stars in what could be the last of the 70’s style Spanish horror films. Nachy plays a playboy type who is married to a woman from an extremely wealthy family. When she begins to have heart problems, Paul takes her to an old family castle that he has recently inherited so that she may convalesce and possibly get better. Once at the castle (which is supposedly haunted by an evil relative who looks just like Nachy) wifey begins to see and experience some pretty horrifying “hallucinations”. What follows is a series of double and triple crosses punched up with some graphic gore, a dash of the supernatural and a little bit of gratuitous nudity.
Casual horror fans will probably think that PANIC BEATS is a cheesy bore, but Nachy enthusiasts should really rally around this one. It really has the look and feel of one of those great low budget Spanish horror flicks that were so popular in Spain during the 1970s.And after your done watching the movie, make sure you check out the mini documentary on the Spanish horror movies. It’s very informative and really whets one appetite for more.

LIVING DOLL (1990) The cover blurb on this one promotes the film as being from the producer of PIECES and SLAUGHTER HIGH. While this may scare off some, this will probably hook diehard fans of sleazy 80’s horror. Howard is a flaky medical student who works in a hospital morgue. Howard is flunking out of school and is in constant danger to losing his job. It seems that he spends most of his time obsessing over Christine, a pretty blonde who works at the flower shop in the hospital lobby. Of course, she doesn’t even know he’s alive because she is in a relationship with somebody else. It seems like pathetic Howard will never stand a chance with this chick…at least while she is alive. After a fatal car accident that kills the girl and really fucks up her boyfriend, Howard decides to steal her body and take it home to his shabby room in a run down tenement. There, he begins to have the relationship that he had always fantasized about. Yep, that’s right…another man loves corpse story. But don’t think NEKROMANTIK or AFTERMATH here… because this film never really reaches the levels of depravity displayed in those two movies. Maybe you could call it diet NEKROMANTIK. But don’t get me wrong…this is still a pretty sick flick. Christine’s slowly rotting corpse steals the show. The make up effects here are slimy and disgusting. You are guaranteed to wince when Howard lays a big kiss on her decaying lips. Also of interest is Howard’s personal descent into madness and murder.
So if you are looking for a film about necrophilia that you could probably show to your wife or girl friend, LIVING DOLL should fit the bill nicely.

ZOMBIE HONEYMOON (2004) I have been begging young filmmakers for the last couple of a years to stop making zombie movies. Of course nobody listens to a guy who only owns a video store and the endless parade of George Romero fan boys and wannabes just keeps coming at us. Ninety five percent of these ‘movies’ are junk and were only made because the ‘movie’ makers had access to the right equipment and a bunch of friends that all wanted to be in a zombie movie. The other five percent are actual films that are worthy of viewing and discussing. Zombie Honeymoon falls into the latter category and while not without it’s flaws, it is a step in the right direction.
The simplistic plot revolves around a young couple on their honeymoon at the Jersey shore. The guy is a surfer dude and his wife is an energetic young woman who wants to “fuck it all’ and move to Portugal. One day on the beach, a zombie comes out of the ocean and vomits black bile into surfer dudes mouth. He is taken to the hospital where he dies and then comes back to life as a flesh- eating zombie. The remainder of the film deals with the dissengration of their newly formed marriage due to hubby’s (a former vegetarian) insatiable hunger for human meat. He won’t bite her, but lunges out at any other warm body that he comes in contact with.
The acting, cinematography and special effects are all top notch, but the pacing is off. The film starts off with a bang and looks like it’s going to be a dark comedy. But after the thirty-minute mark, ZOMBIE HONEYMOON turns into a grim film that tends to drag; especially after such an energetic first act. Don’t get me wrong, this movie is never boring, it just seems like the director switched gears and his handling of the ‘seriousness’ of the second half is flawed.

The bottom line is that this flick is worth seeing and is a decent entry into the non stop zombie marathon that we have seem to be experiencing as of late.